Like, oh my God, it's, like, unbelievable !
Current Mood : 80% Happy
Current Music : The Eternals - Andromeda Gate
Words cannot describe the overwhelming sensation of confusion ( and
nausea, what with the incessant heatwave gripping this city )
Ending a relationship is one thing but when another one stems out from
it, it's unsettling. I'm slowly developing feelings for this
out-of-the-ordinary girl at work. The problematic aspect of this is,
aside from the obvious past relationship thing, she's the type of girl
I've dreamt about for years...and I've seen countless times in raves
when I was younger and she ended up working @ Fido by a weird twist of
faith.
I am therefore currently mesmorized by this girl which can turn out to
be rather dangerous for me since she represent just about everything I
like, admire or catches my eye. Physically & psychologically. She is
considered a freak by society's standards and I haven't been more
attracted to a woman in years. She sports 3 piercings on her face alone,
just to give you a hint.
I'll try and get a pic up here soon. You'll be able to see the beauty
beneath the freak.
Recently, it's been an emotional rollercoaster and if it wasn't for her,
I'd be in a white padded cell cursing loudly and mumbling something
about a conspiracy involving the 3rd coming of Hell's overlords and
massive alien invasions ( Constantine & War of the Worlds respectively
). And it's not because I have feelings for her, it's because, aside
from my mother - who left the dating circuit a long time ago, bless her
heart - I have absolutely no one to talk to regarding this situation.
I've managed to lose track of all my friends while in this relationship
I just ended.
It has also come to my attention that we seem to share a sort of
symbiotic connection between each other where we are slowly noticing
numerous psychological similarities, shared pains, worries and past
damageable relationships. We also like similar things and respond to
various stimuli the same way. But we seemed to have unconsciously
agreed to take things at a deliberately slow pace in order to avoid
inflicting even greater pain on two otherwise emotionally fragile
individuals.
I will keep you updated on further developments as to how things
progress in that department.
Confusing times ( the Return of the Great Void )
Current Mood : Confused
Current Music : Chemical Brothers - Push The Button LP
You can tell I've had some stuff to tend to. This blog & about one
gazillion usual things in my life took the backburner these past few
weeks for an event that has changed my life forever if we consider
alternate universes and such.
These past few weeks were in fact exclusively devoted to pain, grief,
hurt and the great big black void in head called confusion for I ended a
7 year relationship with my now-ex girlfriend. Despite numerous attempts
and self-questioning regarding this whole issue, the conclusion was
always the same : I am not happy. Now I know a lot of people would ask
me if it's that I am unhappy with HER or of being in a relationship in
general. I couldn't answer this question.
Like many human beings in today's society, I am emotionally unstable.
Combine this with my compulsive tendency to overanalyse every aspect of
my existence ( among other things : relationships ) and you have guy who
does not really know what he wants but he's absolutely certain of what
he DOESN'T want. That certainty brought me to terminate a relationship
which stretched out too long in my opinion.
For a number of months, if not years, I convinced myself I was just
depressed and needed to let it go and it would go away. It did work
itself out most of time : after the depression is gone, you feel less
unhappy about being unhappy so you find a way to appreciate what you
have. But even that doesn't compensate for what more you could have and
how you wouldn't have to fight bouts and bouts of depression with a
girlfriend just as depressed, if not more, than you are.
If I am to have a girlfriend, I'd like her to be more of an optimist
than I could ever be. That should help me look at life with a fresher
unjaded perspective. You know, to be able to just stare at flowers and
appreciate their beauty without analyzing shit about photosynthesis
because all I can think of is the girl in my arms next to me telling me
a story about a valley filled with flowers in which we would live
happily.
Romantic stuff like that which I clearly haven't been getting in my life
so far. I want to FEEL loved, not it being said to me out loud. I want a
woman to show me how she loves me just by the caresses she applies on
me, the way she looks at me with star-filled eyes...
Well, enough of that. I shouldn't really ponder on what could've been
and go on trying to make something out of my so-called life.
Will update sooner, I promise.
Thank Buddha it's Friday
Current Mood : Stressed out
Current Music : Kraftwerk - Pocket Calculator (the Mix)
My previous attempts at making some text bolder or in italics have
failed : even with regular HTML code in my text, it won't work. I'll
have to edit it on a real computer and alter it then. Oh well.
All will agree that today's weather is uncommon. For a country known for
its snowmobiles, sky resorts and numerous inches of snow per year,
summers here can be quite hot. Today's humidity factor must've been damn
near tropical. I don't fit the typical Canadian profile though : I hate
winter with a fucking passion. Today is hot but I've withstood worse. I
AM hot right now but it's not discomforting. Anyhow, I'm not gonna
complain. Winter lasts about 7 months here I'll enjoy whatever few weeks
of heat the weather dishes out.
So then, weekend at last. I'll be back monday. Take care, kids.
Psonyk out
Brit-neigh
Current Mood : Tired
Current Music : Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence (Sasha & Digweed
remix)
I read the freely distributed subway newspaper Metro mostly everyday. It
comes as no surprize to read all sorts of interesting stuff and other
not so invaluable tidbits. The following one sort of made me happy :
" Britney Spears's new reality show with husband Kevin Federline is not
generating the anticipated ratings. The series last episode obtained a
meager 2.5 millions viewers across North American ".
No Britney ratings makes Marty happy. I cannot begin to describe the
deep rooted disgust I have for minute pop stars like her. Anybody who's
got musician friends know how hard and long it takes to come up with
anything that ressembles a record contract. Spears is photogenic and a
testament that a boob job willl sell records even though you can't
figure out how to properly hold a guitar much less read a music sheet. "
But damn this blonde b!tch can dance. "
I must apologize. I'm a fervent believer in making records using real
talent, not a marketing agent.
Oh on a more intelligent note, I found my camera, it was at home. Phew.
I attempted a mugshot on the Décarie expressway that I've attached to
this post. Hopefully, you'll be able to see it. If so, don't I look
badass ?
Yeah, neither did I...
My views on this blog
I'm actually quite impressed by the template used for this blog. I'm not too hot on the radioactive green used for the links but I really like the header graphic.
Knowing myself, I'll probably find a few ways to tweak my posts here and there and I just hope to God I'll be able to attach pictures to my Hiptop-sent blog e-mail to be displayed here. I didn't be a camera for it for nothing, dammit. My next post should test this out.
On other news, I'd just like to extend a warm welcome to any work-related friends whom I forced here by making them lose a bet or something or promising them a fair sum of money in return. Either that or I promised a sure-fire way to enlarge their penis. That in itself is ridiculous but considering some lady friends might show up here, I don't want to dwelve on the implications of enlarge an organ they do not possess.
This being unjustifed yet said, I want to proceed and say that I am baffled by 2 things :
1 - the sheer stupidity of people. Yes, I have lost faith in all humanity after working for nearly 3 years at local cellular provider Fido. Clients will go to great lengths to come up with creative ways to make humongous asses of themselves. Bravo. And here I was wondering why we always vote for the worse politicans come election time. I guess it's self explanatory by now.
2 - the uncalculable amount of patience and determinations my co-workers exhibit each and everyday at work dealing with such mentally-challenged clients. Aside from money, I cannot comprehend who in their right mind would make themselves suffer through endless waves of misunderstood invoices and supervisor-requesting nonsense. The same could be said about me I guess but I'm nowhere near what others can achieve without trying to hang themselves.
I salute you, Customer Service Representative, who deals with Weapon Of Moronic Destruction on a daily basis.
More retardedness will issue, I can assure you. Stay tuned. Well, go take a leak and read on then.
Hiptop blogging ?
I will mainly be using a Hiptop ( huuuuuuh ? Oh shut it. Check out http://www.danger.com instead ) to blog so my blogs might be loooooong or shrt depending on how I feel.
I hope this is the beginning of a fun adventure.
Well, I dunno about that one but it's a beginning alright. Fun tidbit though. After creating this blog, I realized I had another before way back when I had a website. Hah. Good stuff. Well actually, no. I'm more ashamed it's still up than anything since I can't relate to any of the stuff written there anymore. Sheesh.
View this insane ( read : inane ) yet cryptic text here : Click here, dammit!
